White Envelopes and Compassion: The Tradition of Giving Money at Chinese Funerals
In the mosaic of customs observed at Chinese funerals, one deeply rooted practice is the giving of money in white envelopes. Known as “bai jin” (白金) or “pek kim” (白金), meaning “white gold,” this tradition carries profound significance. It’s not just a gesture; it’s a way of embodying empathy and offering tangible support during a period of mourning. Let’s explore why this practice endures and how it serves the community during times of grief.
It was 11 years ago; 11 years ago when I first gave a condolence flower to a friend. My friend was just 13 years old and she was lying in the coffin while I stood there, not wanting to believe what was before me.
Till this day, I still hold vivid memories of Daisy who passed away back in 2009. I was 13 then, and as a young teenager, my mind just could not comprehend what had just happened. I had pontang (pretended to be sick to miss school) school that day, when about 2.30pm after school hours I received a phone call from a school mate I was never really close to. It was odd. The moment I picked up the call, all I could hear was my friend crying as she struggled to tell me that Daisy had died. “What do you mean Daisy died?”, I asked, simply completely confounded. She just kept repeating, through her tears, that Daisy had died and that I should come to school now. As I lived just opposite the school, I ran as fast as I could and reached pretty soon. It was then that the school had gathered all students in our cohort to announce the death of my dear friend, Daisy. I was extremely shocked, and at the same overwhelmed by this sense of unbearable heaviness. There were so many words unspoken, there were so many regrets that I had.
